CAMPS

IN WHICH I PROVE TO YOU HOW VERY INTERESTING I AM

I have been listening to this song on repeat for the past six weeks. It all started on an overnight flight to Madrid in which I stared into the back of someone’s head for eight hours, finally speaking to him, but never catching his name.

I have listened to this song so much, it plays in my head when I’m not listening to it. I now walk down the street in time to this song.

I don’t know why.

I don’t think it’s a sad song — it strikes me as triumphant and funny-sad despite the lyrics — but there is just something about it. I know it’s trendy to like Nina Simone at the moment (yesss I read the New Yorker article). I don’t care. She is so right for right now, and that’s all that matters.

(Source: Spotify)

But not who you think

(Source: Spotify)

Amy Schumerisms

1.
The guest room is actually the master bedroom. Shakespearean mixups ensue!

2. 
Getting trolled by a Brazilian man who “liked” your selfie at 2am.

(via chadwys)

But I feel like as women we have so many voices in our heads saying be this, be that, do this, don’t do that, don’t be that. Conversations With Writers Braver Than Me #17: Samantha Irby - The Rumpus.net

(Source: gwengold, via pop-crash)

YOU’RE AN EMOJI WHISPERER (8 - 10)
Congratulations! You can carry on entire conversations in emojis. Go forth and teach others.
Are You Fluent in Emoji? - NYTimes.com
Depending on whether you think the little face with the teardrop on his forehead is sweating or crying, your friend may have either just been dumped or been to SoulCycle. The Emoji Have Won the Battle of Words - NYTimes.com
#selfie

#selfie

Thy destiny remains untold;
For, like Acestes’ shaft of old,
The swift thought kindles as it flies,
And burns to ashes in the skies.
Acestes - Everything2.com

German for “New”

The whole place gives me the heebies. Starts with the Wes Anderson monogram-as-sign covertly placed in the upper-right-hand-corner, hoping you don’t even notice. Oh god, it’s you? Fine…come in.

Enter and be judged by a lit-er-al-ly blonde botoxed bitch who rolls her eyes cause you walked over to the wrong couch area duhhhhh. This ain’t a Denny’s, and I ain’t stealing a carafe, girlfriend. And fine, I’ll type my name into the goddamn iPad mini.

Makes the Ace seem downright quaint and friendly. 

Seriously it’s a “CANTEEN?” Are you kidding me?

He was wearing white-rimmed glasses. Perhaps mother-of-pearl. 

Have you ever met someone who waltzed through life getting everything they wanted because they’re so good looking? I have. It was 1998, and I launched a strange, semi-successful attempt to befriend a very good looking man/boy/man because I thought goddamnit probably no one takes you seriously, but I WILL.

Did white rims know? Did he not know? It was hard to tell. In an attempt not to break the spell, he committed to natty dress. Hanging out at the work collectiveWith the goddamn CANTEEN. Keep gritting your teeth and being cool and wearing Thom Browne and whatever you do don’t stop walking, just keep walking, everything will be fine if you just keep humming, getting older, older, beauty fades, Thom Browne and CANTEENS last forever.

#signifiers

That’s not even the weirdest thing that happened.

(Source: diamondroid, via pop-crash)